The Harpers have received 71 email messages in the last 24 hours to the "Come be Slaughtered for Vasagh" rally. After many months of hard, risky, dangerous work, I managed to get a sleeper into the Harpers, and he forwarded me the following information at great risk of life and limb ... here's a log: From: Vasagh To: Harper-list@wekindasuck.com Vasagh here, I know we're doing the right thing! Long live the struggle! We shall throw off the shackles of oppression once and for all! ----- From: Vasagh To: Harper-list@wekindasuck.com Vasagh here again, I'm still sure we're doing the right thing maybe, uh, I think. ----- From: Vasagh To: Harper-list@wekindasuck.com DOH, half our clan died in our first big fight. This is Vasagh. Maybe we're not really doing the right thing? Hrm. Let's just go do the easy parts of Drow and Graknar 10 times because that's all I can lead and we'll think about it. Damnit, why won't my face rippers ever load! ----- From: Valan To: Harper-list@wekindasuck.com Gosh, you guys are great! Can I be a Harper? I've got a lot of expereince and I'm really really good! And My mommy let's me stay up to 8 pm now!!!!! ----- From: Ian, Biehn, Xaw, Caladin, and the rest of the Harpers To: Harper-list@wekindasuck.com Hey, uh, Vasagh, ARE YOU FUCKING SMOKING CRACK?!!!!!! We just attacked the goddamn Shriners, you bufoon, thanks a lot! Anyone else care to join me in rolling multis? Christ dude, I thought we were going to Graknar! Waaaaaah! ----- From: Conick To: Harper-list@wekindasuck.com Welcome to the Rage Auxilliary, you guys! I just know over the next 17 wipes as we bravely and valiantly hide in the inn, we're going to get to know all kinds of really neat things about each other! And by the way, if you get the chance PLEASE KILL CARIS, he made me cry and wet myself last night. Thanks! Oh, and I can stay up pretty darn late too, once mommy turns the red light on, I usually don't see her and my daily daddy again until the next mornin! Oh and by the way, if you need to talk to me talk to my multi Kefka ... hahaha, the Shriners thought I was Kefka, but I told them I wasn't! HAHAHA, I'm so sneaky! And the Shriners are so stoooopid! Hahahahaa! ----- From: Edwin Webber To: Harper-list@wekindasuck.com Fuck you you fucking Harpers! ----- From: Dufius Maximus To: Harper-list@wekindasuck.com Return my combat sollerets now! I can't sleep at night without my beloved sollerets! YOU WILL ALL PERISH IN A FIERY CATACLYSM!!!!!! ----- From: Woogle To: Harper-list@wekindasuck.com You will all slave be mine sun clan clan clan kill Torgssz. quit. exit. drink water. Oh no, not again this! ahhhhh tell Torgssz kill all Harper they insult nice woogle trapped in Eudora Lite! You are hungry. ----- From: Siath To: Harper-list@wekindasuck.com Hey, is it safe to reenter the game now? I REALLY need some rent cash! ----- From: Spackle To: Harper-list@wekindasuck.com Let me tell you a neat story! I was in Kendermoore the other day talking to my freind Ta-- (story cut down to protect the reader) ----- From: Mylene/Alysse/Kyria To: Harper-list@wekindasuck.com Sniffle. ----- From: Edwin Webber To: Harper-list@wekindasuck.com Hey, in case you missed it, I said, fuck you you fucking Harpers! Hahahahaha! ----- From: Rich Stark To: Harper-list@wekindasuck.com Hi, I'd like to order your new video, "Lesbian Lovin' IV." My Visa # is ... um, hey wait, is this the right email address for www.hotlesbabes.com? ----- From: Dak, Shino, and the 4,001 other loser-- err, RAGE To: Harper-list@wekindasuck.com Weclome to the gang y'all! Here's a tip to get you started. If you use tintin, just type #al {} {recite recall}. Then no matter what key you press, you'll recall! Rockin', eh?! We'll send more secret info as needed. ----- (the next 34 messages were all like this one below) From: spammailler@novalidreturnaddress.com To: Harper-list@wekindasuck.com DO YOU WANT TO MAKE BIG MONEY RIGHT FROM YOUR OWN HOME?!!!!! HERE'S HOW! ----- From: Vasagh To: Harper-list@wekindasuck.com Vasagh here once more, ok, so maybe making decisions while freebasing crack was a bad idea. But we're stuck with it now, so I'm going to start lobbying to get the price of bronze equipment and plain long swords cut in half so we can still mud. Err, long live the strugg --- ahh, fuck it. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! (Another Intel Report From Rich, Inc.)